DETROIT --Industry watchers have learned that after 10 years in the enterprise project management software business the independent research firm Forrester will recognize the VCSOnline VPMi as a leader in the Project Portfolio Management software market, just as soon as their check clears the bank.  The move is not a moment too soon as research firms have seen sagging revenues and perceptions of favoritism to the software companies that spend the most advertising with them.

"This looked to be a validating moment" said VCSOnline Partner and Co-Founder Nick Matteucci.  "I mean, we were implementing web-based project portfolio management solutions in 1998, long before their was even a perceived market.  We watched everyone else grab the spotlight and couldn't figure out why.  Then we got our invoice to be a 'leader' and use their report on our web site.  We were like 'wow, how much would it be to NOT be a leader and just be an also-ran?'  Then we were like 'how much to just going back to being forgotten?'"

"We really love the guys over at VCSonline" states Dan Simpson, ex-forestry major turned Forrester project management guru "when you look at the breath of their offering, their unheard of success rate with the Fortune 500, and the four foot novelty check they presented us with, it all added up to leadership in this, or any, software category."   Later when pressed on the criteria for the leader tag Dan offered some insight, "It is actually pretty easy to figure out the leaders.  We just have the accounting guys force rank these vendors based on our profits.  What could be more objective then that?"

Yet others in industry are more skeptical of these ratings.  "I am not sure where they are getting these evaluations" said Robert Kelly, VP of IT for Exxon.  "I mean we have lost millions trying to get these so called leader PPM packages implemented with no end in site.  When we asked the analysts which of the PPM packages they use daily they just gave us a blank stare.  When we asked how they pick the PPM leaders they mumbled something about the donut quality at the demo.  I guess we will have to go back to using our monkey and our dartboard for IT project management software selection.  Who could have known that having analysts with no background in project management, working at companies that don't use PM tools, and where they accept marketing revenue from the companies they evaluate could produce such overpriced and poor candidates?  Anyone know where we can get a good deal on a used dart throwing package selection monkey?"

 

©2007 VCSonline. All rights reserved. This PMS blog is a satire. None of the details in this blog are real. All names are made up, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. All quotes are fictional and any similarity to actual quotes is coincidental.

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